Insecurity in a relationship is one of the most difficult things to deal with mostly because it may keep on resurfacing. Insecure people most times tend to be clingy and this is likely to push their partners away, which worsens the situation.
Feelings linked to insecurity develop due to early relationships and family issues. The experiences often interfere with the ability to date or choose good partners. Some people are known to choose companions who make their situation even worse. Unfortunately, there is no absolute quick fix for this problem, although some therapy may be recommended for some people. Below are vital steps that will help reduce insecurity.
Find out the cause
Not all issues of insecurity are unwarranted. Therefore, you need to objectively examine your partner’s behavior. Is she honest? Is he or she genuinely showing concern for your emotions and feelings?
Consult a Therapist
If the relationship is not providing you with what you were looking for, then there is a good chance the insecurity is your partner’s problem and not yours. However, you should not force your partner to resolve the issue. Bring the relationship to an end if your emotional needs are not being met. Alternatively, you could make more friends and take up more hobbies as a way of meeting your needs.
Do not compare your relationship with others
Even the most troubled relationships will look perfect especially if you view the couples as an outsider. Avoid comparing your relationship with other relationships. Also, do not compare your partner to your past partners. When you do a comparison of relationships, it is less likely that you will compare the positive traits of your partner to the negative traits other individuals possess. Just accept your partner as he or she is and put in the effort t to develop your relationship instead of desiring another relationship that may not be real.
Negotiate The Relationship Rules
Most relationships are guided by rules. Despite this, some rules may not be easily acceptable to the other partner. In such a situation, resort to consultation and negotiate the path you both want your relationship to take and how you can make sure both your needs are met. For instance, you can agree that one party will provide verbal reassurance while the other offers nice gestures and favors. When faced with issues of insecurity, be honest and talk openly with your partner and let your partner know that you may need some assurance.
Focus on the positive
A phenomenon known as confirmation bias often causes people in a relationship to hunt for evidence for what they believe is true. Remember, if you are more convinced your partner no longer loves you, his failure to say he loves you during a phone conversation for you will be irrefutable evidence that the love between you is no more. However, if you look for positive aspects in your relationship, you will actually find a lot. Consequently, it is important to focus on positive traits your partner possesses and interpret the ambiguous actions and statements positively.